Hi everyone, I'm Daisy. I was a prostitute for 23 years, but no longer see it as an option for me. It used to be something I could always fall back on, but not anymore. Now I'm interested in seeing into the truth of things. I too used to call myself a "sacred whore" and thought I was empowering myself by taking back my sexual choices and making money from it. I held that belief for a long time.
I don't quite see things the same way anymore. So, I want to ask a question that I haven't heard anyone here ask yet. How many of the prostitutes in this tribe were sexually abused or raped? I would really like to know. All the women I stripped with and all the women I hooked with were all survivors. So, whats so sacred or glamorous about acting out sexually in this way? It's about manipulation, and power, not healing or even sex.
I have no objections to decriminalizing prostitution. People are going to do it whether it's legal or not. I do have objections about prostitution being glamourized and even given politically correct descriptions like "sex trade industry" or "sex worker". Ask the junky whores on Capp street what they call themselves. They'll say, I'm a ho. That's the truth of it.
The bottom line for me is, if a person values themselves, prostitution is not an option. I'm spending alot of time and money in therapy to heal from what others have done to me, but also what I have done to myself.
I don't expect any of you to agree with me, or like what I say, but I felt called to tell my truth and give my thoughts and opinions on the matter. AND, it would be great if you all could answer my question and have an open and honest discussion about what you do it for without getting defensive or blaming me.
I don't quite see things the same way anymore. So, I want to ask a question that I haven't heard anyone here ask yet. How many of the prostitutes in this tribe were sexually abused or raped? I would really like to know. All the women I stripped with and all the women I hooked with were all survivors. So, whats so sacred or glamorous about acting out sexually in this way? It's about manipulation, and power, not healing or even sex.
I have no objections to decriminalizing prostitution. People are going to do it whether it's legal or not. I do have objections about prostitution being glamourized and even given politically correct descriptions like "sex trade industry" or "sex worker". Ask the junky whores on Capp street what they call themselves. They'll say, I'm a ho. That's the truth of it.
The bottom line for me is, if a person values themselves, prostitution is not an option. I'm spending alot of time and money in therapy to heal from what others have done to me, but also what I have done to myself.
I don't expect any of you to agree with me, or like what I say, but I felt called to tell my truth and give my thoughts and opinions on the matter. AND, it would be great if you all could answer my question and have an open and honest discussion about what you do it for without getting defensive or blaming me.
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Seattle
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Re: Sexual abuse
Sun, April 23, 2006 - 1:10 AMProstitution for many people is different things. Each find their own way they express or see themselves....& obviously you found it was not for you...but its like any other profession, not all are cut out for what involved....your question on sexual abuse can confuse the issue of prostitution....what other profession would you ask those questions of? None I suspect...would you ask a fellow say check out operator or a bank manager that question? People are sexually abused in any walk of life, but because prostitution is sexually related...we look for the abuse....we look for reasons, especially when we feel low or it is`nt working out the way we wanted it to. Do you agree? -
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Re: Sexual abuse
Sun, April 23, 2006 - 10:08 AMNo, I don't agree. I don't think my question confuses the issue at all. I'm simply asking a question. You either were, or you weren't. -
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Re: Sexual abuse
Thu, May 11, 2006 - 1:00 AMDaisy its just that it seems you are trying to get a point over...which is fine..but can this point only be made if others agree to the fact they may or may not have been sexually abused? You see where I am coming from? A lot of sexworkers would be suspicious of such a question, as it is just questions like this that are used against them to weaken their points of view & their standings....questions like: sexual abuse/drugs/STD`s/child prostituion etc!
These are points that extreme feminists/moralists etc use against prostitution to push their own agenda`s forward.
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Re: Sexual abuse
Sun, April 23, 2006 - 10:51 AMnever sexually abused or raped here. -
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Re: Sexual abuse
Mon, April 24, 2006 - 3:57 PMI was never sexually abused either.
I think Daisy's experience is valid for her and that's fine as long as she doesn't assume the same is true for everyone else too or that people who are happy doing sex work must all be "faking" happiness with their work.
I would also add to what I think someone else was kind of trying to say...that it is more culturally acceptable to talk about sexual abuse if you work in the adult industry (among your peers) so the topic of all kinds of things related to sex comes up.
Sadly, I would imagine that the rate of sexual abuse among female computer programmers and financial wizards that I have also worked with was also high. It's just that no talks about such a subject in the corporate world because it's considered inappropriate to talk about anything like that at all...so we never really know.
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Re: Sexual abuse
Sun, April 23, 2006 - 1:30 PMi don't really think my having been assaulted or attacked sexually has anything to do with my involvement in the industry. i wanted to be around sex and know everything about it all of my life. i was fascinated with it years before i was assaulted. -
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Re: Sexual abuse
Mon, April 24, 2006 - 1:05 PMI agree, my interest in sex has been from an relatively early age...any things that have happened in my life, has just been the `adventure` of life & I feel each adventure teaches us various things, how we manage to expand that & make the most informative information we can possibly learn about ourselves from the most challenging situations, is for me, what life is about. Sometimes the inner struggles that we have can take some time to overcome, & some never overcome them: ie: sexual abuse or crisis situation discriptions.....& sometimes we meet others who are at differnet levels of their own inner understanding....thats when we are the most vulnerable to outside descriptions of the extreme & challenging lessons we learn in life....this is when people tend to describe abuse & other such manifestations that have occured in their lives...you I feel are going through such a phase & looking for confirmations to your observations & feelings...please don`t give yourself & others the label you seem to see attached to yourself at the moment....give yourself more time to evaluate your experiences.
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What is politically correct?
Mon, April 24, 2006 - 4:05 PMI don't think the term "sex worker" is used to be "politically correct" (whatever that means).
I think it is an attempt to make people who are outside the industry see that sex work IS WORK and that perhaps it should include certain occupational protections, rights, etc. just like workers in any other industry have.
Right now it's often difficult to even talk about "stripping" with grown adults because many of them just burst into giggles and start acting like nervous kids in a 7th grade sex ed class.
This makes it really difficult to get anyone to take your occupational (or human) rights seriously or to even get to a point where you can dialogue about it.
I don't think using the term "sex worker" is about trying to be "politically correct" or to put yourself above someone who just wants to call themselves a "ho".
If someone wants to identify as a "ho" that's fine with me because as at least THEY are defining themselves FOR themselves and not letting someone else define them.
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Re: Sexual abuse
Wed, May 10, 2006 - 1:15 PMCorrelation and causality are two different things, I feel obliged to point out.
I was molested as a child by both my father and several of his friends, and have managed to survive several teenage rapes. I'm also not a prostitute, though.
When 1 in every 3 women has been the victim of sexual abuse or assault of some kind, then *of course* sex workers will have been raped, abused, etc.
Personally, I am more concerned with those appalling numbers in general, then trying to link being raped/molested/abused to becoming a prostitute.
If one in every three has been through it... why didn't they all go pro?
Generalities like "if a person values themselves, prostitution is not an option" are slippery slopes. That may be true for you, but not so for others.
- D
All of the above. -
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Re: Sexual abuse
Thu, May 11, 2006 - 9:21 AMWhen 1 in every 3 women has been the victim of sexual abuse or assault of some kind
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I'm suspicious of this quote. Do you have a source for that? -
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Re: Sexual abuse
Thu, May 11, 2006 - 5:26 PMI've heard eveything from 1 in 3 to 1 in 6, which is what the Dept of Justice says.
However, it's important to remember that most sexual assault goes unreported. -
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Re: Sexual abuse
Fri, May 12, 2006 - 1:24 AMand the limits of assault and battery are pretty broad. i consider it assault to be groped while in a crowd. -
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Re: Sexual abuse
Sat, May 13, 2006 - 7:56 AMThere is a big difference between getting diddled by daddy for a few years - and the trauma that causes - and getting groped in a crowd. -
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Re: Sexual abuse
Sat, May 13, 2006 - 11:57 PMyes, there are differences, but that doesn't take away from the fact that getting groped in a crowd IS technically assault and IS truly a violation. i don't take much interest in competitive victimization. i don't find it help anyone. we are each traumatized by that which is traumatic for us. i may not have been diddled by daddy, but the time i have been assaulted have all left scars, if only to my sense of being able to be sure of who will and will not touch my body without my permission. also, just cause one is worse for most folks than the other does not make either less harrassing or assaulting.
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Re: Sexual abuse
Sat, May 13, 2006 - 1:01 PMOn a personal leval-your story is very sad, and im sure continually painfull, on a day to day basis. Your making some really important choices, and Im glad your comfortable sharing your feelings.
On a community leval-every community has abuse within it. And I understand some of us might find it supportive to feel the community healing. But, again.
I understand that is your expirience-sexual abuse and prostitution as an inseparable group.
But. Your not being supportive or healing-simply manipulative.
Im sorry, this is my first negative replay-but your post is inflamatory.
